The Claim Game Part Deux- Guest Post

July 28, 2010 at 4:09 pm (Uncategorized)

Whether you hit a house party, a club, wedding, or other social gathering with groups of friends, you’ll always come across a team of people that the crew is feeling. One of the funniest situations between men and women when it comes to courting, is something I like to call “The Claim Game”. We’ve played this game many times. The situation occurs when someone, who previously showed interest in a friend or colleague, now wants to holla at you. You go to your friend requesting a Carfax (scouting report) on the individual to find out their status, and this can result in one of two outcomes

OUTCOME #1:
ME: My dude,what’s good with shorty? That’s you?
Homie: Her? Nah I mean she wanted to holla, but it never went anywhere.
ME: So, I’m good?
Homie: Yea son, do you! **daps**

or…

OUTCOME #2:
ME: My dude,what’s good with shorty? That’s you?
Homie: Who her? Yea that’s me we been talking for a minute.
ME: Oh that’s wifey?
Homie: Nah not really, I mean……………… we speak on the phone and whatnot here n there, and so on and so forth nahmeyaheard?!
Me: Huh? Oh like everyday?
Homie: Not really, but she knows wassup.
Me: So… she’s not really interested.
Homie: Not in that way, but I’m gonna get it though fam!
Me: 0_O

 We all go through situations where we see someone we like, try to kick game, and “we get rejected in the paint while our person of interest waves the finger like Mutombo” (c) J. Davermann. Then, the person we were feelin’ is now crushin on your friend. It’s natural to feel snubbed or jealous, but to pull a claim on someone just because you got rejected is corny. The Claim Game serves as a nice way to deem your homie a hater. Period. A wise person once said “It takes a man to stand and cheer while the other fellow stars”. Sometimes, you have to step aside and let your homie succeed where you fail, and at least try to live vicariously through them!

If you didn’t have a committed relationship with your homie’s point of interest, then you have no basis to pull a claim. Men have unwritten rules about situations like this. A dude will ask another dude about a woman, and if she isn’t claimed, then that will serve as a green light to pursue. Now, if you are the claimer, and you seriously have something developing with the lady in red question, then you need to speak up, or forever hold your peace. Many situations developed where men were prideful, claim that they have no feelings for a woman, and later gets upset when their homie smashes before they do tries to bag said female.

On another note, just because someone “wanted to holla at you first”, gives you no basis by which you would place a claim! Infatuation is fantasy based, and when people face reality, their feelings can and will flip like acrobats. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s human. I can respect a friend who goes to all lengths to make sure no ill feelings will occur between them if they pursue someone of interest, or ran a train had a previous relationship. To me, that’s a great courtesy, because if you are good friends with this person, you should know if they were seriously dealing with this individual to begin with (or the level of seriousness). I’ve inquired before, and used judgment calls in others depending on prior knowledge, and it’s worked out well I mean, I’m still alive and my car isn’t damaged right?. Especially if your friends know you as virtuous and not the type to “have sex with your girlfriend if you look the other way”.

What about the situation where your friend was dating the woman in question? Is it always off limits? I’ve seen this situation more times than I can count, and believe it’s more common than anyone thinks! Some like by the motto “If it wasn’t serious wifey, then I’m good” Hell, I had friends tell people “You got 2 years to reconcile, or I’m going IN!!” The situation even gets trickier when you talk about acquaintances, business partners, mans-an-em, LBs, sands, etc. How about if you smashed dealt with people your person of interest knows? Are you automatically off limits? Should you say something?We need a board to review all of this!

You never want to step on toes by acting on attraction, knowing a friend was interested in said individual first. If its been 6 months with < 5 phone calls, < 2 dates, and nothing past bunt singles and pop-ups, then “give it up Rock, its ova!” (c) Mick, Rocky III. So I ask today, when is it right/wrong to claim a person? Are there circumstances where you never have to inquire about dealings? When is it grimy to put claim on an individual? What about your friends? What about us girrllllll?

One

Streetz alias “If you’re paying for dinner, you can claim me alllll night long!“


The Claim Game Part Deux
http://www.singleblackmale.org/2010/07/28/the-claim-game-part-deux/

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Charge it to the Game

July 19, 2010 at 7:03 pm (Uncategorized)

Some people are truly only around for a season. No need in tryin’ to make ’em stay around longer, it’s just a waste of time. There’s a lesson learned in every interaction, big or small.

At 24 years old, I have officially retired from the art of trying to figure men out. It’s like kicking a dead horse, especially if we can’t do shit for each other.
There are too many good ones around to give time for others who don’t want it or don’t deserve it. I’m busy/was busy/been busy (or other variations involving the B-word) is the most tired worn out excuse I’ve ever heard. I have a lot on my plate too, so all that busy ish is for the birds. Folks make time if it’s worth it.

I wish some would just come out and say what they want or don’t want, it would make life soooo much easier. I’ll tell you if I aint talking about nothin’. At this point, it’ll come early enough before any of our time is wasted. Women ARE NOT built to be players. AT ALL but we can be. Dudes really aint either and they suck at it, because they easily find ways to fuck it up. Best policy is to just be as honest as possible. Lonely, say it. Horny, say it. Just want some company, say it. The worst that can happen is you get an answer you may not want, but it’s better than playin’ yourself.

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Slow or Fast????

July 9, 2010 at 10:23 pm (Love and Lust)

Me, and Big Shenanigans were talking about the misconception of women as a woman we think of sex, sexual relations, positions, foreplay, and all types of nasty stuff all the time. Most women do this so I’m not alone, but when reckless people get together talking about these things, genius happens. During one  of my  many deep conversations I mentioned that women like to FCUKED!!!. My friend disagreed saying that a real relationship is about love and making love not (well you get the picture). I had to break this to the not-sexed-regularly individual with the “Sure fire kinda sorta way to keeping the magic happening in the bedroom ideology.” It’s sorta long, but I’m working on the name.

Women always talk about the perfect union, which includes long steamy love making on the beach with the moon light, but in reality that’s not what’s going down. Now ladies you know when a brother breaks you off proper in the (where ever) you damn near implode on him. That doesn’t happen with the Slow Stroke Johnson technique. Now I’m not saying you want a jack rabbit, I’m just saying there is a balance. The balance I have come up with is 3 to 1 fcuking ratio. (Now men pay attention) For every 1 time you make love you need to break her back 3 times. As you can tell I’m not completely against love making, I do think it is needed. But love making and fcuking handle two separate things. Fcuking handles the primal instinct of sex, the hot sweety put your face through a head board sh*t and an occasional huck-a-buck (you know what that is right?). Love making handles the romance, the kissing and holding general emotion aspect of it all. So there is a balance of the two…..

Female swagstars what makes your body tingle and quiver all over? Male swagstars what gets her just right? I’m saying I get carnivorous with mine but others might need your help. hahahahahaha

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All Barbies must die!!!!!!!

July 8, 2010 at 6:24 pm (Uncategorized)

What’s good? Today’s discussion is about women who call themselves “Barbies.” Now, I’ve owned a few Black Barbies when I was little . They’re cute and I think that designers made them to tap into a need to make Barbie beautiful and ethnic. However, the barbie epidemic is getting a little ridiculous. I love Nicki Minaj as an artist, but my mind can’t wrap around the idea of the “Barbie” concept because I think “plastic” and “dumbed-down”. Wait, allow me to take a step back. Actually, Lil’ Kim called herself black Barbie once and her “How Many Licks” video portrayed her as a doll, but Nicki has made it a cult.

 

I was reading someone’s comments on a FB status. The status was about girls who call themselves “Barbies” and a girl asked the question, “What is a Barbie?” Many females replied to her question with negative comments such as: fake, plastic, not wanting to be yourself. So, I decided to play Devil’s advocate and I commented that I believed that these chicks look at it as a term of empowerment. Barbie is well loved, beautiful and every little girl wants one and wants to be one. People celebrate Barbie’s birthday and she has collector’s items that are worth a lot of money, therefore she’s worth a lot of money. That’s what these girls see when they call themselves Barbie. I don’t have any desire to be a “Barbie” girl. I’m good. I’m like Pinocchio and just ask to be a real, live (girl).

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Guest Post-6 signs you shouldn’t be f*cking

July 7, 2010 at 6:00 pm (Love and Lust)

6 signs that you probably shouldn’t be f*cking

maybe now is the best time to tell him that the penis snuggie he rocks before sex creeps me out

two things immediately came to mind when news of elin nordegren’s 9 figure settlement came to light last week:

***btw, am i the only one who thinks that elin’s people intentionally leaked that ludicrous 750 number just so people would be like “oh, that’s actually fair and reasonable.” when the real (and still f*cking ludicrous) settlement figure came out? it’s like the guy who asks his girl if they can have an open relationship, knows he’s going to get shot down, gets shot down, and then follows it up with “well, can you start swallowing at least?” because he knows she’ll probably think “well, that’s not too bad. i guess i can start doing that.“***

a) in college, i was once asked by one of my assistant coaches during an especially spirited practice to shut the f*ck up. as an incentive i was threatened with the possibility of being kicked out of practice and the chance that i might have to return at 5am the next morning to do suicides for an hour.

tiger woods asked his ex-wife to shut the f*ck up. as an incentive she was given 100 million dollars.

f*ck earth.

b) tiger’s tale further validates one of the most important tenets of relationships: never f*ck/committ to/marry someone who has much, much less to lose than you do. while i’m not a huge proponent of people always needing to be “equally yoked”, it makes no sense spending valuable time and energy busting off in empty eggshells.

tiger actually breaks this rule twice (marrying a viking nanny and cheating on said viking nanny with the only 53 white women in america actually lower on the status totem pole than viking nannies), proving once in for all that overachieving is best left for libertarians, jets fans, and rapists.

anyway, “they have nothing to lose. you have everything to lose” takes the number one spot on “6 signs that you probably shouldn’t be f*cking”, a list that (if made viral) might do more to curb crime-fighting than any other ledger ever posted on vsb.

here’s the rest

2. you don’t feel comfortable talking about sex

you’d think that “hey, you probably shouldn’t be blowing him at dusk every day if you still can’t muster the courage to tell him that he might be a diabetic because his semen tastes like maple syrup” would go without saying. you’d also think that “hey, you probably shouldn’t give 29 year old shooting guards 120 million dollar contracts if you actually want to win a championship this millennium” would also go without saying, but apparently some sh*t really needs to be said.

3. the sex really f*cking sucks

while awkward new relationship sex is perfectly understandable as you learn each others rhythms, likes, and dislikes, if a period of time has passed and you still would rather watch paint f*ck than sleep with your mate, maybe it’s time to have a “no sex until we sit down and assess why our sex is worse than the last airbender” summit. i mean, if your man’s steak marinade give you amoebic dysentery every time you ate it, don’t you think it would be a good idea to chill with the grilling until he bought some new ingredients?

4. if you have to lie to people about your relationship

before j.l. king ruined the phrase “the down low” (btw, between “the down low”, “partner”, and the rainbow, someone needs to make a list of all the words and phrases the gay mafia has hijacked from the straight lexicon. i’d do it myself, but i’m scared that they’ll decide to hijack “champ” as retaliation.), being in a down low relationship had a bit of a subversive and edgy coolness to it.  you were on the down low, and nobody had to know about your late night creep.

but, although nobody really needs to know all of your adult business, as you get a bit older you start to realize how wack it is to sleep with someone if you (for whatever reason) feel the need to lie about the fact that you’re sleeping with them.

5. if a potential pregnancy would ruin your life

***taken from “the lightbulb: 8 simple inner “voila!” statements that would make vsb (and every other relationship advice website) obsolete“***

from a man’s perspective, there are two distinct types of mental reactions to unplanned pregnancies.

a) “well, even though we weren’t expecting this, we can make this work”

b) “somebody (me, her, or the seed) has to die. now.”

there’d be no need for vsb (or police) if we stopped f*cking all of the potential “b’s”

6. you’ve never made yourself orgasm

would you ask a homeless man how to dunk? would you buy ten speed for a midget? would you ask a chicken how to shave? of course not.

i’m getting off track here, but the point remains that if you’re not comfortable enough with your own body to get yourself off, how the hell can you expect someone else to, and what type of sadist must you be to subject someone to that?

http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/

 

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